Six months ago I had an “ah-ha” fashion moment.
It wasn’t a “skinny jeans are hip” or “I need more than one pair of boots” or “statement necklaces are amazing”.
It was the Fabulous Fashionistas.
The Fabulous Fashionistas are a group of six English women (who’s average age is 80 years old) that gave very candid interviews about their philosophy on life, living, and fashion which was turned into a documentary.
There were many awesome takeaways, but a comment from Jean Woods stuck in my head. She said (about fashion)…
“If I love an outfit, I might wear it every day. I don’t care what anyone thinks. I love the way it looks on me and that makes me confident.”
Isn’t that the truth? Wear an outfit we feel we feel good in, an outfit that hugs every curve and hides every fat pocket, and we feel like we can conquer the world.
Clothes are an extension of our personality. They allow each one of us to stand out (or blend in) to the rest of the covered-up human population. Heck, it is a billion dollar industry! An industry devoted to making us believe the right clothes, from the right brand, at the right time in our life will provide health, happiness, wealth, and David Beckham half-dressed on our doorstep.
But I, like most of my girlfriends, have fallen into the trap of believing having a “closet” full of clothes, in a healthy clothing rotation, was what culture required. God forbid I wear the same outfit twice in one month, let alone twice in one week. “They” can’t think I don’t have “enough” clothes to show my individuality. Duplication is unacceptable.
And because of this insecurity, I have a closet full of ho-hum, ill-fitting clothes that were purchased out of desperation (or obligation) at Target, Kohl’s, or Nordstrom (yep, it happens at the high end too) because I was desperate to have something new and rekindle the feeling that I was confident, special, and unique.
‘Cause let’s be honest. We’ve all thought when getting ready for a recurring meeting, “Have I worn that before? When was the last time I wore that? I don’t want them to think I’m wearing the same thing as last time.”
Unfortunately, here is the real truth. I can’t tell you what my best friend, co-worker, kid’s teacher, or mailman wore yesterday. It could be a jacket, a sweater, a shirt, or anything in between. I have no idea. And most of the people you see on a day-to-day basis don’t either.
So, I’ve decided to embrace Jean Woods’ philosophy in the new year.
I will only wear outfits I like and feel good in and have no fear in doing it multiple times in a row.
So, unless I love something, it’s staying at the store. I’m also giving myself the authority to spend a small fortune on a dress, sweater, or pair of jeans when they fit me like a glove and make me feel beautiful.
Glove is defined as nothing pinching, hanging over, or squished, but instead laying smoothly and covering the right places, and usually makes me respond “DAMN, I look good” after I put it on.
When I wear my Joe’s Jeans with my cashmere Elie Tahari cowl-neck sweater and Frye Boots I feel like I am a force to be respected, listened to, and appreciated. This outfit has the power to cancel out a bad hair day or hot mess of a kitchen as I walk out the door.
Why wouldn’t I want to wear that twice a week?
It’s my superhero suit! And at this point in my life I need that suit more than the approval of co-workers.
PICTURE PICTURE PICTURE of your superhero suit PLEASE!! I love this and need to clear out my closet and do the same. Of course I have not found my “suit” yet so I need help there… baby steps!
Lynn…don’t copy me. That’s how I ended up with a closet full of clothes I dislike. Pick a couple of things out of your closet that you love now and start there. You can do it!!
This comes off really rude. Maybe she just wanted to see it, and maybe it would have been perfect on her. Stop being obsessed with people copying you, this isn’t high school.
I think in her avatar she’s wearing the Elie Tahari cowl-neck sweater. Very cute!
You are correct. 🙂 It’s probably my favorite sweater, EVER.
I love this. This is so true – no more guilt wearing my “superhero” outfit more than once in a week 🙂
No more guilt at all! Everyone should have a superhero suit…and have no shame in wearing it every day.
Love this – so glad I stumbled upon your blog!
I just remodeled my closet and all clothes are not back in yet… I am weeding through and trying on and scaling back to ONLY my favorite things that fit, look and make me feel GREAT!
Bonnie…you’ll be so glad you did. Once I got over the “guilt” of not wearing a new outfit everyday…getting ready was so much easier.
What a wonderful post! Makes me kind of want to stand up and say, “Amen!” I found your post on Pinterest, and I am so very glad that I did! I have been feeling the same way about my closet. Each January I do a massive purge, and I’m gearing up for this year’s haul! Thank you so much for your inspiration – I’m looking forward to reading more of your blog!
Ginger – Thank you for the kind comments. It was hard to let go of my guilt of wearing something “too often”, but at this point in my life I want to feel DAMN good everytime I walk of the house. And getting rid of that guilt has made getting dressed in the morning so much easier.
This is such a great post- thanks for giving me a little more freedom!! I’ve been wondering about this very topic- everyday I go to get dressed I can’t keep myself from putting on the Banana Republic sweatshirt/sweater I got for Christmas. Even if it has my little one’s snot on it I still feel cute! I’m trying a project where I don’t buy anything for a year so your principle is going to help me a lot!
WOW, Ally. I don’t know if I would be able to not buy anything for a year! You GO GIRL.
Something my friends and I do is a clothing exchange. A few times a year we get together and trade all that stuff in our closets we don’t wear. I have found some awesome stuff for free that way!
That is an awesome idea! I’ve traded handbags before…but I might have to add clothes to the list.
I’ve really narrowed down my wardrobe over the years. It started when I left the corporate world and I just didn’t need a closet full of pant suits anymore. I found that I only wore about 20% of what was in my closet and now I choose quality clothing (that I find on sale) and I have just a few outfits for each season that fit me well and that I love.
Love this!!!
Love it! I am a substitute teacher and work at multiple schools, so I wear the same outfit in the same week. I usually lose track and forget what school I wore the outfit to. Then I think that if I can’t remember, then nobody else is going to remember either. Most people are worried about how they look, not how other people look. I know I can’t remember what people wear from day to day.
Amen. I think that was my biggest “ah-ha” moment….realizing that I didn’t know what people word day to day, so why would they remember what I wore?
This is wonderful. I literally have 4 pairs of pants, a few shirts, and three pairs of shoes I wear on a daily basis. I have others but seriously I have to force myself to wear them at times. 🙂 I’m not a “dressy” girl. I don’t like dresses, skirts, or high heel anything… and I’m not apologizing for that anymore (either out loud or in my head.. lol). Even when I was young and skinny I couldn’t stand to “dress” up all the time. I picked male oriented occupations just so I could wear my jeans and tshirts. And that’s OK! It’s me, and it’s freeing!
I love that you love jeans and t-shirts! And you are right, if they make you feel good, why not wear them all the time…it is FREEING to not have to think so hard about our clothes.
Amen indeed! The older I get the more I realize the truth in what you wrote. You said well what we all know to be true. Have no recall of what my co-workers wore yesterday. On this subject, less is more.
Carol – You are correct. I think it is an age thing. I have too much to worry or think about (or keep track of)…this allowed some empty space in my already over-worked brain. 🙂
You’re *my* superhero now! I am (was) caught in that same wardrobe trap. Now, I’m gonna throw caution and guilt to the wind!!!! Mwahahaha…
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Go FAME! Let that supercape fly high!! (or your new cashmere sweater, ya know, whatever makes you powerful.)
I would agree on the consumerism front of not needing to be pulled into fads. And my motto of “If it looks better on the hanger, it stays on the hanger” lines up with your “fits like a glove” mentality. But I,ve been the same size for over 10-15 years (basically since I was big enough to wear ‘grown-up’ clothes) so I’ve already accumulated my fair of shirts.
And there’s something I hate more than a frumpy shirt or pants with spare room for a friend at the waist to slide over my big touchy, and that’s doing LAUNDRY. So when I clean out my closet from time to time, my new question becomes “would I wear that over doing laundry?” All of a sudden I become more tolerant of the generic clothing issues.
My confidence doesn’t come from my stellar dress, the fray on the bottom of my fav jeans, or the bulky sweater keeping me warm while seemingly like I just put on 15lbs; it comes from knowing who I am, that I’m loved deeply, and all things are possible with Christ.
Couldn’t agree with you more. You know you are beautiful because of who you are and because He loves you. Here’s to living the life and laundry is only a minor inconvenience!
I have three closets full of clothing and I only wear 10% of it. Finding clothing that fits is horribly difficult and I hate doing alterations so I wear the same clothing over and over. If I had every dollar I have spent on things that don’t fit well….. you know!
Yes, Betty. Believe me. I know.
I came across your post on Pinterest. So inspiring! I am in the midst of a wardrobe purge…taking things to consignment, posting on ebay, and donating. This has really encouraged me to take the purge to the next level! Thanks!
Christine, I’m so glad you found it and were inspired. I think life is too short to not feel good in the clothes you wear.
This is not exactly on target, but it fits. I no longer do the five day a week thing, but when I did, I found that completely by accident I had Monday outfit, Tuesday outfit…crazy huh. At first it kinda bothered me, then I realized that I had actually taken the stress out of deciding what to wear without even realizing it. The only reason I even noticed was because a computer guy only came in periodically on Tuesdays and one day I noticed I was always wearing the same thing every time he came into work.
This is an amazing way to look at clothing. Although, I personally, wouldn’t be comfortable wearing the same top in the course of a week I do wear the exact same skirt or two every day. The only person who ever said anything about it was a co-workers child. “How come you are wearing a skirt every time I see you?” LOL. It didn’t bother me at all. I also wear flip flops under my desk because no one sees my feet anyway! 😀
Popped over from Thrifty Thursdays. Again, great post!
I love that your wear flip flops! Goodness knows I should probably have the same attitude with my shoes as I do with my clothes. Thanks for stopping by.
I enjoyed reading your post. It is so refreshing to see someone who is not scared to be herself. Wearing a happy heart is far more important than any clothes we put on.
Thanks Armina – that was a super, nice compliment. Believe me, it has taken me a long time to get there.
I’ve always worn the same clothes over and over. As long as I don’t wear them twice in a row, I figure no one will notice. Your super hero sounds much nicer than mine! It’s easy to wear the same thing when it’s all just jeans and the most recent Target find.
Love your thoughts here! I have a hard time saying no to clothing if it’s a great deal but doesn’t fit me perfectly, and an even harder time saying yes if it does and the price tag is way over my budget. But it makes sense to save up and buy the clothes that make you feel beautiful, because I know I’m so much more confident when I’m wearing them!
Getting ideas on how to capsule my wardrobe, thanks.
That is so true! I’m on the way to a minimalistic life, going through my wardrobe at moment. I’ve got a lot of different clothes but I realised that I only wear a few of them. I have one favourit jeans and 4 or 5 shirts. I always thought I would have to wear different things every day. Now I changed my mind. We should wear what we feel good in. Thanks for this article!
Jacy
Love this post! I feel like you were reading what was in my heart and mind this past week. I wrote a blog post sending others to this post! Thank you Thank you Thank you. Hope you enjoy and I did your blog justice.
I just read your post and it was beautiful Beth. I loved how you said what a gift it is to be able to give people clothes that you no longer use. You are right!! It is a gift. A beautiful gift.
You’ll love this article. A male TV presenter here in Australia wore the same suit (on TV) every day for a year – and no-one noticed. http://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/tv-and-radio/karl-stefanovics-sexism-experiment-today-presenter-wears-same-suit-for-a-year-20141115-11ncdz.html
Yes! The best way to wear your favorite things is to only own your favorite things. Love it.
Finally, a young, beautiful woman saying what I have been trying to get women to do for years. My husband and I live a minimalist lifestyle. We live in just 650 square feet, but ironically have a walk in closet. It is nearly empty and I am just fine with that. It is very liberating.
I have the fortunate (?) position of working away from home in an industrial office setting (oilfields). For years I tried to wear the cute tops with my jeans but hated that they would get ruined in the laundry – horrible water, industrial strength laundry soap. I refuse to pack clothes back and forth to home every two weeks so I finally found a comfortable “uniform.” I have 5 pairs of yoga pants, 7 pairs of socks and undies, 7 long sleeve “cute” t-shirts and a few bras. What a difference it has made in my life and my meager storage locker!
I highly recommend wearing only the things you love and feel comfortable in and doing laundry weekly. 🙂
YES. After years of having very few clothes, none of which I really loved, I finally spent a few hours at a thrift shop trying on everything in my size in the store. It was GREAT. Because it’s a thrift shop with who knows what donated from all kinds of people, there is a huge variety of brands and styles so I was able to try things I would never have had the opportunity to try out otherwise. I still don’t have ton of clothes I wear on the regular but I definitely found a few key items for my everyday uniform that I feel great wearing.
That is a GREAT idea! What a great way to try on a bunch of stuff and see what looks good on you and what doesn’t…and if you love something, it would be a steal to take it home. Great idea.
I felt compelled to split my wardrobe in half (including my jewelry and make up) two weeks ago, because I felt that clothes had become so important to me, I couldn’t be real, genuine and raw amymore. Ultimately clothes will change something about our attitude and in some ways make us put on a mask of perfection and “I have it all together”… When I look at my closet now, with only half the things I’m used to, I feel free. Les to worry about, only favourites, simple and easy to choose from.
Thanks for your encouragement to not worry about wearing the same things over and over again.
I just found the Fabulous Fashionistas on YouTube. Oh, how I wish one of them were my mom so we could swap clothes! Years ago I was on a bus in San Francisco (standing because there were no seats available) when someone tapped me on my back. I turned around to look and a homeless (or at least he looked that way) said, “Lady you sure aren’t a slave to fashion!”
I took his remark as a compliment and told him so. Back then, I wore my Doc Martins with everything. I don’t know what happened to them or some of my other favorite clothes, because I moved three times since then, but I wear what I want. I turn 60 in a few months, so finding these authentic, fun women really inspired mew to keep my individuality!
Thanks for your post. Hopefully more of us will find our own fashion style and authentic voice.
Namaste and all the jazz!
ingebird
I loved the Fabulous Fashionistas too. They were just so confident in themselves is such an amazing, non-threatening way. Loved them.
When you said you had given yourself permission to spend good money on clothes you really loved, I thought we might be kindred spirits. But then… jeans, Elie Tahari tops, and Frye Boots?! We are freakin soul mates =P. Though I’m partial to the Regina ballet flats myself.
GIRL, we need to go shopping together. I have NO PROBLEM spending money on clothes that will last me years vs just a season. I have FRYE Boots that are six years old and look better today than when I bought them and they will continue looking good for a long, long time.
I am so happy I live in the middle of nowhere! ( ok- this is just about wearing clothes,not about lack of sushi etc). Winter=favorite jeans, favorite Dkny black oversized turtleneck. Every day. I switch it up by wearing a different colored turtleneck daily. No one ever realizes. Lol!!!