“I’m fat.” says my good friend via text message.
“No you aren’t. Why are you saying that?”
“I can’t fit into any shirts. I’ve tried on at least 15 shirts. I refuse to wear a large. All the buttons are gaping or it’s too tight around the chest.”
Sound familiar?
And while I could have said, “No, you aren’t. Or I’m sorry. Or try another store.” I said something that might surprise you…
“It isn’t the shirts. It’s your BRA.”
I’ve had the above conversation with at least 15 of my friends over the last five years. All of them, every single one, complained that they couldn’t wear cute shirts anymore because they were too fat and the shirts were cut to small.
(And by too small, I mean gaping buttons, too tight in the chest, looks like trying to put 10 lb of flour in a 5 lb sack kind of look.)
This, my friends, is a lie. You can wear cute shirts! It isn’t the shirts that are making you look fat, it’s your bra!
Over 80% of women are either wearing the wrong kind of bra, size of bra, or a bra that is past its prime (aka…old bra). Wearing the wrong kind of bra or an ill fitting or out of shape bra can DRAMATICALLY impact the way a shirt fits and lays on you, especially if you have a size C cup or larger boobs.
(Yes, I said, boobs. I’ll probably say it again before this post is done. Because when you hit 40, they are no longer breasts. Breasts are cute and perky. These are boobs. Boobs that attracted men in our 20s, doubled in size while we were pregnant and nursed our kiddos in our 30s, and sag like a mo-fo in our 40s and 50s. And I don’t want to think about my boobs in my 60s…so I’m not going there.)
So out with the old and in with the new, here are some tips so you don’t choose an ill fitting bra.
Goodbye Ill Fitting Bra Tips
1. Think of your bra like a house. And think of your boobs like inhabitants. You need to make sure all of your inhabitants can fit into the house. If your boobs are trying to escape their bra, you are creating unnecessary fat rolls. Quit trying to live in an apartment, when you belong in a McMansion.
2. Size doesn’t matter. There is no GLORY in wearing a 34 D bra if it doesn’t fit right. I have bras that are 38 C, 36 D, and 34 DD depending on the style, brand and how they fit me. A size is only a starting point and should not be the end all, be all.
3. Pick the right bra for your boobs. I was a 36 D in high school and college. The last time I was measured, I was still a 36 D. Do you think my 40 year old boobs are the same as my 20 year old boobs? I need full coverage. I need underwire. I need lots of padding. The day of the demi-cup is past…and that’s okay.
4. Get help. If you haven’t been fitted for a bra in a long time, then go to the professionals. Nordstrom has an awesome department with professionally trained attendants. It’s also important to pick the right attendant to help you out. Asking Chelsea and her 20 year old boobs for the best “support bra” is asking for trouble because she probably doesn’t even wear a bra. Asking Dorothy for a “support bra” is a better idea. And likewise, if you are looking for a sexy bra, I’d ask Chelsea and not Dorothy.
5. Embrace The Investment. A good bra is an investment. You may feel guilty about spending this much, but let me put it into perspective. If you come home and told your spouse, “Babe, I just spend $150 at Victoria’s Secret.” the reaction will be very different than “Babe, I just spent $150 at Crate & Barrel.” For the first, he will ask for a fashion show. The second, he will ask why you need another lamp.
So why do I say that a good bra will make you look 10 lbs lighter?
- Because your breasts will be lifted and separated in the right way vs hanging down to the ground.
- Because you will no longer have your boobs trying to escape your bra creating unnecessary fat rolls.
- Because your clothes will fit better and you will have more confidence.
Are you wearing an ill fitting bra (right now) that need to be thrown away? When was the last time you bought a new bra?
HAHAHA!!! Love it. This is a post that NEEDS to go viral on Pinterest so that all the ladies will know how awesome it is to wear a bra that fits right. Nordstrom has the best fit specialist. They are amazing.
Great job!
They are amazing! I totally agree. Those women can measure you and then look at you and find a bra that makes you look like your are 20 again.
Absolutely true! A right fitting bra can make you look upto 10-15 pounds lighter.
I used to wear B cups (and I am actually a D/DD/F depending on the brand) and used to look a bit overweight and out of shape (they were all over my waist) . Now people ask me how I lost 15 pounds and would not believe it when I say I just got a proper bra fitting 🙂
I completely agree. I think people think that a bigger bra will make them look bigger, it’s not true. A bigger bra actually makes your breasts look more in proportion to your body.
OMG this made my day–I laughed right out loud!
Laura – I’m so glad! We need to talk about our girls more often…then hopefully our sisters will start taking care of their girls on a regular basis. 🙂
You’re so funny! I know mine doesn’t fit right. Off to get some new ones today.
Your significant other will thank you for it! 🙂
Haven’t tried Nordstrom, but you’re full figured, don’t use Macy or Belk because they will put you in a bra they sell even though they probably don’t sell one big enough.
Great advice! I’m a pretty big fan of Nordstrom for bras. Those ladies know what they are doing.
I could not agree more!! I am blessed to be able to help women learn this each day. (I sell custom fit bras, that sure change the whole look for women!) Love this!!
80% is too high. I dream of a day that women around the world would just get their breast properly fitted. Having a bra that fits you well is very comfortable. You wouldn’t wanna miss out on that would you?
You are probably right, 80% might be too high. And I so AGREE…a well fitting bra is life changing.
If you live on the east side of Kansas City, I cannot recommend highly enough the ladies at Intimate Designs (locations in Independence, Lee’s Summit). Somehow these ladies make this torture super relaxed and dare I say fun! You’ll pay full price, but it can make your life, or at least your boobs better.
Thank you so much for the recommendation. LOVE making our boobs better!!
Exactly like I feel. I have to get a shirt a size too big just for the “DD Girls”. But then the shirt is too big in my shoulders and neck….making me look sloppy. UGH! I’d have to drive 100 miles to find someone to size me. 🙁
Joni – The next time you are in a city with department stores, make it a priority to get it done. You can even call ahead and make an appointment, so you don’t have to wait around. It’s LIFE CHANGING to have a bra that fits.
Thank you for calling them what they are-BOOBS. I agree, they used to be fun and perky and mine now are over 40 years old and have done a lot of work for me. So tired of looking like a saggy, baggy old lady in my shirts. I don’t have a Nordstroms around here. I am not even sure that there is even one in my state-Wisconsin. Finding a proper person to fit me will be my next mission and my Christmas present. I also LOVE how you spelled out the difference in reactions of the spouse in buying a good bra. Exactly what my dear husband would say/do! heehee. Onto the search I go….
Tricia – if you can’t find a Nordstrom’s, I’ve also had really good luck at JCPenney’s or Lord & Taylor. Good luck and I’m glad you are doing something for you…you’ll love the way it feels to have a bra that really fits.
Hi Kelly,
I saw one of your other pins where you recommended the Vanity Fair Beauty Back bra. Lucky for me I have a Vanity Fair Outlet very close to me so I rushed right over and bought one. LOVE IT! I will be buying more! Question… how long on average should you keep a bra? Obviously if it looks worn but what if if it doesn’t but is several years old?
Usually between three and six months – depending on how often you wear the bra.
My boobs are too big for my size and look so wide on me. I think if I could just find a bra that pulls them in toward each other I would look so much better. Any suggestions on a bra that would pull them in? I almost feel like they are under my arms!!! Well, not exactly but ….
I’m almost 60… and found it mildly ironic to read this article today! Last night, as a last ditch effort, I put on a camisole with underwires, for a costume party. My other camisole, non-wire- was in the wash. Had never worn the other bc it seemed too tight and I worried about the wires. Well. Today, I look down at my nice rounded boobs, that are up AWAY from my stomach area…. no, no where near perky but dadgummit…. they look smaller and it’s as if I suddenly lost 15 lbs!
Having always hated underwire bras, I figure now- I’ve never had one that fit properly. I see a trip to Lanes or somewhere to get properly fitted…. as I can’t wear a body shaper all summer lol But I sure am liking the way my boobs aren’t hanging down like an old farm granny!