Turning 40 was life-changing for me.

Not life-changing in that I was middle-aged or going to experience some mid-life crisis.

Quite the opposite. I found “me” again.

You see, during the last part of my 30s, I realized I was an OBSERVER in my life. Sure, I was present with my kids or my husband or extended family, but I was not ACTIVELY living my life. I was just WANDERING…I was UNINSPIRED, UNSATISFIED and in many ways, UNHAPPY.

The things that defined me in my early 20s and I had gotten “through” in my 30s (going to school, getting married, a career, becoming a parent, buying a house, etc.) weren’t defining me now. I wondered what’s next? Who was I going to be in the 2nd half of my life? How was I going to redefine myself?

Because I had no “absolute answer” for those questions, I started with “a 30-day realignment”. This wasn’t some fad-diet or cleanse, it was a purposeful realignment and fueling of the person that I had lost, “me”. I knew unless I found “me” again, I couldn’t make changes to other aspects of my life.

And because that 30-day realignment made such a difference in my own life, I’m sharing it and calling it the 20/20/20 Method.

20/20/20 Method – How Busy Moms Can Fuel Their Mind, Body & Soul

The 20/20/20 Method is pretty simple. Everyday you will spend 1 hour, in 20 minute increments, feeding your mind, your body, and your soul. For most women I know, finding an entire hour to focus on ourselves is hard. There are a million excuses we use, including:

• {Insert Family Member’s Name} needs me. I need to put them first.
• I can’t take time out just for me! There is too much stuff to do.
• I did something like this for a week before and it wasn’t working? Where is the result?

Sound familiar?

And I was in the same boat. However, when I broke it out into 20 minute increments, it became easy to fit in to my schedule. I could do it in while picking the kids up from school or practice, before everyone else woke up in my house, or at night before I went to sleep.

Component One: Fueling Your Mind

It’s time to learn something new.

If you are like me, it’s been a LONG TIME since we were in school. And that means, it’s been a long time since we’ve actively learned anything.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve learned a few things since college, (like how to wrangle a baby into a diaper, how to drive in school drop off without road rage, etc.) but it wasn’t active learning, it was more of trial by fire.

So, for 30 days, set aside 20 minutes to read a non-fiction book, listen to a business podcast, take an online class, or do research into something interesting. (My latest obsession is how food and essential oils can heal the body.)

Fueling our minds and learning something new helps us find new hobbies, makes us feel empowered, and increases self-confidence. Plus, when was last time you learned something because you WANTED to?  Novel thought, isn’t it?

Ideas to Help Fuel Your Mind:

• Lynda.com (Has thousands of videos and tutorials to help you become better at almost anything.)
• Check out a Podcast in iTunes. (Make sure to download a player, so you can manage your podcasts.)
• Take a class at a community college. (Granted, this is LUMPING your 20 minutes per day into one day, but it still gets the job done.)

Times To Do It: 

• Waiting for kids in school pickup or practice (via Kindle or Kindle app),
• First thing in the morning with your cup of coffee (plus, it’s super cool to say, “Guess what I learned today?” while the kids are eating breakfast), or
• While the kids are doing homework (if you don’t have to help too much – you learn, they learn).

Cool Thing:

If you stay at it for 30 days, you will have become a quasi-expert on any subject at the end of the month.

Component Two: Fueling Your Body

So it is time to get active!

For 20 minutes everyday, you are going to be moving.

Working out is so important for women. Done correctly, it alleviates stress, helps with self-confidence, increases energy, decreases appetite, increases brain function and concentration, and just makes for a happier you.

(Notice…I did NOT say anything about weight loss. This isn’t about your weight. This is about clearing your mind, getting the blood flowing, and feeling better.)

I fell in love with Bikini Body Mommy’s HIIT workouts (don’t let the name scare you – she is fully clothed during the workouts). The workouts are 20 minutes long and include both weight and cardio training. I also loved taking shorter two or two-and-a-half mile runs. I realized those 20 minute workouts made me more alert, gave me more energy, and helped me feel better about my body (because it wasn’t about weight, it was about strength).

Ideas To Help Fuel Your Body:

• Bikini Body Mommy
• Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred (It’s 20 minutes-ish. It’s an oldie, but a goodie. Her 3-2-1 combination will have you sweating by the end.)
• Shaun T’s T25 Workout (It’s 25 minutes, but it will kick your arse and you will get the blood flowing.)

Times To Do It:

• Either before school/work (because it is only 20 minutes),
• Right after you get home from work/school,
• After dinner (walks with your Hubby count), or
• While kids are taking their SWEET time getting ready for bed. (Anyone else’s children take 45 minutes to get ready for bed? How long does it take to brush teeth????)

Cool Thing: You’ll not of only created a new healthy habit, but you may find your clothes fit better and you crave the time away to get your “workout fix” in.

Component Three: Fueling Your Soul

In all actuality, this component should come first. Because without it, none of the rest of it works.

In my late 30s, my faith was a HOT MESS.

In my 20s I was the poster child for women’s bible studies. I had done every Beth Moore, Andy Stanley, or Joyce Meyers study out there. I had taught a high-school girl’s bible study. I was a regular volunteer at our church’s nursery.

And then I quit.

Life got in the way. Something had to give, and I choose regular bible classes and volunteer opportunities. And then daily meditation time stopped. And pretty soon, I wasn’t doing anything. I was a HOT MESS.

Maybe you are in the same place? So for 20 minutes everyday, experience some sort of meditation/bible study/prayer…whatever you want to call it. But 20 minutes where you look outside of yourself, count your blessings, and look for something bigger and smarter than you.

In a world filled with endless distractions (both technological, but activity driven), we all need a little quiet time to center, get focused and hear a sweet whisper that reaches into our soul.

Ideas to Fuel Your Soul:

• Jesus Calling. (This is a daily devotional that got me back on track. It’s a simple message with two bible verses.)
• Deepak Chopra’s Leela (Both my husband and I have used this guided meditation “video game” with great success. It centers you, relaxes you, and opens your mind up for the day ahead.)
• One-Sentence Journals (Simply writing down what you are grateful for is a great way to start meditation and prayer. These journals are usually five-years in length and are a great keepsake for later in life.)

Times To Do It:

• First thing in the morning.
• Last thing in the evening.
• In the middle of your day, during lunch. (Because sometimes a little realignment in the middle of the day goes along way.)

Cool Thing:

Who doesn’t want to be more centered, with better perspective and focus? Plus, this “meditation” habit is listed as one of the top habits by high-performing business leaders and entrepreneurs.

The End Result

I realize this isn’t rocket science, but sometimes we need a friend to help us organize our thoughts and actions.

My hope is if you are feeling uninspired, unsatisfied or unhappy, you’ll give the 20/20/20 Method a chance. All busy moms can fuel their mind, body and soul in less than an hour a day.

We deserve it and we are worth an hour a day to uncover the real “me”.